Blabbering
Some days you just feel like writing; even if it's about nothing or to document the sad stuff, writing is an outlet. At least it is for me.
Have you ever had a situation, just something going on in your life, you really feel no one else can understand or you can never seem to find the proper words to use when explaining it to someone else? Someone who doesn't know you well enough? I feel like that every day. Between chronic migraines, depression, anxiety, a turbulent family life and the feeling of more bad things than good, it gets hard to keep up with it on my own, so how do I explain it to someone else?
Trust me when I say I'm constantly focusing on the good in life, though. It may not seem like it, trust me I know that too, but every day I practice a mindfulness of the good in my life and in this world. But, there are some days where I sit down and accept my defeat knowing it's all for a greater good. I have learned some days will not be good and that's OK too because we can always learn something.
Right now, I'm struggling to accept my health is less than stellar. After months of constant birds in my ears telling me to go to the doctor, I am. To say I don't want to go is an understatement. The doctor brings more bad news than good usually for me, and it's normally the time I feel most like a guinea pig testing different medications and courses of action to see what makes me feel better. It's more difficult than I let on, frankly because I don't enjoy trying something only to find out it doesn't work. I mean, honestly, who enjoys a let down?
I'm hoping more than anything, and really I'm praying, today I get better answers and a more hopeful solution to everything.
Have you ever had a situation, just something going on in your life, you really feel no one else can understand or you can never seem to find the proper words to use when explaining it to someone else? Someone who doesn't know you well enough? I feel like that every day. Between chronic migraines, depression, anxiety, a turbulent family life and the feeling of more bad things than good, it gets hard to keep up with it on my own, so how do I explain it to someone else?
Trust me when I say I'm constantly focusing on the good in life, though. It may not seem like it, trust me I know that too, but every day I practice a mindfulness of the good in my life and in this world. But, there are some days where I sit down and accept my defeat knowing it's all for a greater good. I have learned some days will not be good and that's OK too because we can always learn something.
Right now, I'm struggling to accept my health is less than stellar. After months of constant birds in my ears telling me to go to the doctor, I am. To say I don't want to go is an understatement. The doctor brings more bad news than good usually for me, and it's normally the time I feel most like a guinea pig testing different medications and courses of action to see what makes me feel better. It's more difficult than I let on, frankly because I don't enjoy trying something only to find out it doesn't work. I mean, honestly, who enjoys a let down?
I'm hoping more than anything, and really I'm praying, today I get better answers and a more hopeful solution to everything.
this was originally posted July 7, 2016 on my blog #forbetterorforworse
it was later published on my blog #MadebyESC, changed to #MadebySEC, on 8/9/18
it was later published on my blog #MadebyESC, changed to #MadebySEC, on 8/9/18
Comments
Post a Comment