(Almost) a Year Later

 A lot has changed; some good - some bad, but still ... it is a lot. 

This time last year, I was a simple volunteer in a mental health support group ... now, I'm the president. This was not the course I thought would happen. Truthfully, I was going to step back before now. Do I feel obligated to stay now? Maybe. Does this mean I understand the supreme weight now placed on my shoulders? Hell yeah, and it is insurmountable. 

This time last year, I was moving through a circle of insanity with a man I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with regardless of the toxic nature of our relationship ... now, I'm divorced, single as a pringle but moving through the circle of insanity with the same man, still, due to my own shortcomings. If I had stuck up for myself, would things have been different/easier/better? These are questions I cannot continue to worry myself with because it won't change the outcome, really. 

This time last year, I had two dogs. One who loved me to no end but may have been reacting to me out of trauma responses and one who simply loved me to no end ... now, I have three dogs. One who loves me to no end and no longer reacts out of trauma response; one who loves me to no end but at times becomes overwhelmed with his new sister; one who has quickly stolen my heart and my energy but meshes well in our family dynamic. 

This time last year, the world was ending ... now, the world is reopening. Capacity limits are being upped, social distances are being lessened and though I have been back "in office" for almost 8 months, teams are beginning to make the plight back here, too. Did we all buy-in to a conspiracy theory? This is another questions I cannot continue to worry myself with because it won't change the outcome, the state the nation/world is in and it certainly won't bring back the lost time while the world ended. 

This time last year, I had an idea of how the next 365 days would go or hoped to go, but it is what it is and life will continue. 


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